Hmm, so I applied at a few more jobs today. I pretty much have stuck with applying to government jobs and at the universities around Denton. I'm determined to get a position that I will LIKE and that has benefits. I don't want to start somewhere and continue looking for something better. It's a waste of the little energy I have and stressful. 2 of the jobs I really want are just taking longer than I would like to get back to me :( Now, I'm starting to wonder if I should give myself a deadline... Should I make a deadline for when I should just find a job, any job and give up on finding THE job? Or is that when I'm overstepping on God's plan?? Ughhh, I don't know. I have enough money for about another month. Factoring in that once I start a job it would be about 2 weeks before getting a paycheck, that means I should start a job within 2 weeks from now. Have any suggestions for me?
On another note, me and "guy who remains nameless (for now)" are doing good. This makes me really happy! However, that just makes me think even more! Did I mention he lives out of state?! His work will keep him where he is living now. Long term plans would require Aaron and I would have to move there. I would totally do that, it's just kinda scary. It's only been about 4 months, so I'm talking a good long while before it's even an issue. But, this is what I do ;) If it weren't a possibility, I wouldn't even bother with this guy. I'm probably being crazy. I haven't had Aaron meet him yet, which is strange I guess considering that his mom has been around Aaron before... I completely trust him with my son. That's not the issue at all. Aaron just gets extremely attached to every guy- most likely since his dad is hardly ever involved. I've even stopped my guy friends from being around him for a while now because Aaron will ask to call them and always wants to see them.
*Aaron told me last week that he wasn't allowing himself to fall in love yet. When I asked why, he said, "I can't fall in love with a beautiful girl yet because I have too many girls (my mama, Aunt Kaylee, and my Nonnie) living in my house. There's just not room for my wife right now."
He's so funny! I love him so much!!! :)
My crazy boy and Me
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
This song has special meaning to me ;) Just don't take it literally
Forever can never be long enough for me
To feel like I've had long enough with you
Forget the world now, we won't let them see
But there's one thing left to do
Now that the weight has lifted
Love has surely shifted my way
Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will
Say you will
Together can never be close enough for me
To feel like I am close enough to you
You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you
And you're beautiful
Now that the wait is over
And love has finally showed her my way
Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will
Say you will
Promise me you'll always be
Happy by my side
I promise to sing to you
When all the music dies
And marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will
Say you will
Marry me
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Job opportunities
I just had a phone interview with a company in Dallas that contacted ME and requested that I apply. I thought that was pretty awesome! I had posted my resume online on Monster.com, and I guess the company saw mine there. Interview went great. The position I applied for doesn't start until the end of May, which I didn't know. However, HR said another position would start in just a couple of weeks that they think I would do well in. The pay is the same for both :)
Not sure why it took so long for it to dawn on me to apply at the City of Denton and County, but I applied to positions they each have available around midnight last night. I have already been asked to come do testing for Denton County! I scheduled that for Friday while Aaron is at school. Hopefully I will also hear from the City as well. The City of Denton position pays almost 10k more. Both of these positions would be best I think of all positions I've applied for the last couple of weeks (pay, benefits, and I wouldn't have to drive an hour away= total plus!).
I'm not so much worried about finding ANY job, but finding the Right job!
Any prayers for my job hunt would be so much appreciated!!
-- I was so excited today thinking about 1 of these jobs working out! All I wanted to do was call and tell this guy (who I still haven't named on here). I even picked up the phone to text him a couple times, but I couldn't...
Not sure why it took so long for it to dawn on me to apply at the City of Denton and County, but I applied to positions they each have available around midnight last night. I have already been asked to come do testing for Denton County! I scheduled that for Friday while Aaron is at school. Hopefully I will also hear from the City as well. The City of Denton position pays almost 10k more. Both of these positions would be best I think of all positions I've applied for the last couple of weeks (pay, benefits, and I wouldn't have to drive an hour away= total plus!).
I'm not so much worried about finding ANY job, but finding the Right job!
Any prayers for my job hunt would be so much appreciated!!
-- I was so excited today thinking about 1 of these jobs working out! All I wanted to do was call and tell this guy (who I still haven't named on here). I even picked up the phone to text him a couple times, but I couldn't...
Monday, March 21, 2011
I speak too soon... apparently
It's been a rough few days. Warning, I will probably skip around a lot.
My title refers to one of my last statements in my last blog- about someone special I would mention in my future blogs. Yeah, that was dumb. I think each time I've mentioned something good about someone I'm dating, or just anything good and happy in my life going on it gets ruined somehow. Does this mean I should STOP talking about good things?! That's what it feels like. And, NO, of course I won't! It's just frustrating, and I feel I bring it on myself. Maybe I do? A failed marriage, a failed relationship, and one that I have no idea what's gonna happen now... Could have something to do with ME, ya think?
In late December, a friend of mine from school's wife (24 yrs. old) passed away. Nobody, including the medical examiner, knew why. My friend was told that it would be about 6 weeks before they knew a cause of death. Well, it took a while longer! For him I'm sure it felt like an eternity. This last Friday he was finally contacted and told- Cause of Death: Low Thyroid! That's it? Really?! At first I just felt so sorry for him, knowing that it was something usually so easily treated. If you know me pretty well, you know how much I think, think, and continue to think. About Everything. Friday night, I couldn't sleep well at all. I haven't fallen asleep easily sitince I found this out actually. For selfish reasons I keep thinking about it. My friend's wife looked like she just felt asleep, and that's exactly what doctors told him it happened- "She probably seemed tired, went to lie down, and her body shut down when she fell asleep." My doctors tell me that my thyroid has the lowest levels of a live person they have seen. So, this just totally freaks me out. Which is ridiculous! I know this. My thyroid hasn't worked for almost 16 years. I'm a researcher!! I have read SO many books and articles on hypothyroidism. I know how easily it is to treat when you know about it. I just need to get much better at remembering to take my medicine...
Big event on Saturday that nearly gave the Mommy in me a heart attack- my sister almost ran over my son, Aaron!! Aaron was upset that Kaylee didn't hug him goodbye before she was leaving. From our hallway, I see him running out the front door to catch her, I start running to catch him, and when I get outside her car is in reverse almost knocking him down in the street!! I am screaming his name and for her to STOP! She stops, rolls down the window and asks why I'm screaming. Aaron didn't seem to know what was going on until he realized how scared I was, and that's when he started crying. And, Kaylee just said bye and left like it was no big deal. I've never been so scared in my life! I held him on the couch, crying, kissing him, and getting onto him for going outside without someone- all at the same time. Even at home, I don't know how to protect him all the time :(
A week ago last Friday was the last day at my job. That's a huge, long story in itself. I resigned, however it was definitely not my choice! I'll get more into specifics in another blog though. I only mention it now because it's added to my list of things that have been stressful. Writing and venting make things easier. Single mom+ an ex who's over 6 months behind in child support+ no income= umm, not an ideal situation ?
Last week (my first week of being unemployed) was planned to be a Great week though! Aaron was going to go stay with his dad for a couple of days (the first he's seen him since before Christmas, by the way), so I would have a couple of days to get resumes out, etc. Aaron was out of his afternoon school for Spring break, so it was okay for him to spend some time with Adam without missing anything. Also, last week my guy would be in town the whole week, so we had a few dates planned. I was super excited! He lives out of town, out of state actually. That fact, plus me not really wanting Aaron around him yet doesn't leave much time to spend together. I haven't figured out the whole dating thing without Aaron meeting whoever it is yet. I feel like a horrible mother wanting Aaron to be with someone else just so I can go on a date. Anyway, it had been 2 months since seeing my guy, which has been more difficult that what I thought it would be in the beginning. And, I know what some of you are thinking- No, I didn't meet him online ;) I actually knew him for years, many, many years. His family is in north Texas. Anyway, he came into town. We had a Perfect date last Sunday evening in downtown Fort Worth at one of my favorite restaurants. Previous dates were also quite amazing. We had 2 other dates planned for last week before he would have to leave Sunday. Each one had to be canceled due to things coming up and a family emergency, his, not mine. We were both pretty bummed. I had planned to go stay with him out of state sometime coming up soon, but that was when I had a job and money. Now, that wasn't looking too promising for the near future. So, the different things I mentioned previously that were stressing me out some, along with thinking Saturday night how he was about to fly out and not see him for a couple months possibly... well, it made me act kinda stupidly to say the least. I upset him a lot when I told him how I would miss him, and how I was upset that we didn't get more time together like we had planned. And, I had HORRIBLE timing saying anything. He was at a family function at the time. We've hardly talked since, and it sucks! Over 3 months of talking multiple times a day to not at all. It makes me really sad :( Before anyone starts defending me (which I appreciate), this guy is sooo worth working things out with! He's wonderful, and I really hope I didn't screw things up permanently.
Ahhh, okay. I've written for an hour now, and I feel a little better. That was my whole purpose :)
My title refers to one of my last statements in my last blog- about someone special I would mention in my future blogs. Yeah, that was dumb. I think each time I've mentioned something good about someone I'm dating, or just anything good and happy in my life going on it gets ruined somehow. Does this mean I should STOP talking about good things?! That's what it feels like. And, NO, of course I won't! It's just frustrating, and I feel I bring it on myself. Maybe I do? A failed marriage, a failed relationship, and one that I have no idea what's gonna happen now... Could have something to do with ME, ya think?
In late December, a friend of mine from school's wife (24 yrs. old) passed away. Nobody, including the medical examiner, knew why. My friend was told that it would be about 6 weeks before they knew a cause of death. Well, it took a while longer! For him I'm sure it felt like an eternity. This last Friday he was finally contacted and told- Cause of Death: Low Thyroid! That's it? Really?! At first I just felt so sorry for him, knowing that it was something usually so easily treated. If you know me pretty well, you know how much I think, think, and continue to think. About Everything. Friday night, I couldn't sleep well at all. I haven't fallen asleep easily sitince I found this out actually. For selfish reasons I keep thinking about it. My friend's wife looked like she just felt asleep, and that's exactly what doctors told him it happened- "She probably seemed tired, went to lie down, and her body shut down when she fell asleep." My doctors tell me that my thyroid has the lowest levels of a live person they have seen. So, this just totally freaks me out. Which is ridiculous! I know this. My thyroid hasn't worked for almost 16 years. I'm a researcher!! I have read SO many books and articles on hypothyroidism. I know how easily it is to treat when you know about it. I just need to get much better at remembering to take my medicine...
Big event on Saturday that nearly gave the Mommy in me a heart attack- my sister almost ran over my son, Aaron!! Aaron was upset that Kaylee didn't hug him goodbye before she was leaving. From our hallway, I see him running out the front door to catch her, I start running to catch him, and when I get outside her car is in reverse almost knocking him down in the street!! I am screaming his name and for her to STOP! She stops, rolls down the window and asks why I'm screaming. Aaron didn't seem to know what was going on until he realized how scared I was, and that's when he started crying. And, Kaylee just said bye and left like it was no big deal. I've never been so scared in my life! I held him on the couch, crying, kissing him, and getting onto him for going outside without someone- all at the same time. Even at home, I don't know how to protect him all the time :(
A week ago last Friday was the last day at my job. That's a huge, long story in itself. I resigned, however it was definitely not my choice! I'll get more into specifics in another blog though. I only mention it now because it's added to my list of things that have been stressful. Writing and venting make things easier. Single mom+ an ex who's over 6 months behind in child support+ no income= umm, not an ideal situation ?
Last week (my first week of being unemployed) was planned to be a Great week though! Aaron was going to go stay with his dad for a couple of days (the first he's seen him since before Christmas, by the way), so I would have a couple of days to get resumes out, etc. Aaron was out of his afternoon school for Spring break, so it was okay for him to spend some time with Adam without missing anything. Also, last week my guy would be in town the whole week, so we had a few dates planned. I was super excited! He lives out of town, out of state actually. That fact, plus me not really wanting Aaron around him yet doesn't leave much time to spend together. I haven't figured out the whole dating thing without Aaron meeting whoever it is yet. I feel like a horrible mother wanting Aaron to be with someone else just so I can go on a date. Anyway, it had been 2 months since seeing my guy, which has been more difficult that what I thought it would be in the beginning. And, I know what some of you are thinking- No, I didn't meet him online ;) I actually knew him for years, many, many years. His family is in north Texas. Anyway, he came into town. We had a Perfect date last Sunday evening in downtown Fort Worth at one of my favorite restaurants. Previous dates were also quite amazing. We had 2 other dates planned for last week before he would have to leave Sunday. Each one had to be canceled due to things coming up and a family emergency, his, not mine. We were both pretty bummed. I had planned to go stay with him out of state sometime coming up soon, but that was when I had a job and money. Now, that wasn't looking too promising for the near future. So, the different things I mentioned previously that were stressing me out some, along with thinking Saturday night how he was about to fly out and not see him for a couple months possibly... well, it made me act kinda stupidly to say the least. I upset him a lot when I told him how I would miss him, and how I was upset that we didn't get more time together like we had planned. And, I had HORRIBLE timing saying anything. He was at a family function at the time. We've hardly talked since, and it sucks! Over 3 months of talking multiple times a day to not at all. It makes me really sad :( Before anyone starts defending me (which I appreciate), this guy is sooo worth working things out with! He's wonderful, and I really hope I didn't screw things up permanently.
Ahhh, okay. I've written for an hour now, and I feel a little better. That was my whole purpose :)
Friday, March 18, 2011
Wow
I just realized how long it has been since I wrote about ANYTHING!! I saw that one of my friends had started a new blog recently, and I couldn't wait to read it. I also realized how out of the loop I am in everyone's lives lately. That's not cool. It's looking like I will have plenty of time to catch up and blog though- lucky you! In the past this has been my venting place, and I'm not gonna promise that it will change too much ;) Different things are going on right now, which I can get into another day. I will say that I am very blessed! Feeling very lucky (lately especially) with the people who are in my life- Aaron (of course!!), my amazing friends (the ones I talk to just about every single day and also ones I don't get to as often), and another special someone who won't be reading this, so I can probably mention him as often as I want soon ;)
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
A good friend once said ....
Actually my good friend tells me quite often to be patient. He has tons of patience just for the fact that he has to keep telling me on a regular basis and never seems to be annoyed that I don't always listen so well :) Right now, (and for a while now truthfully) I've been praying for patience in my life. I have so many things I want to do and accomplish in my life. I just don't like waiting for them. I would like them to happen sooner rather than later, so I try to force things into happening sometimes. By the way, that never works ;) God's Timing! I know this... Haha. I'm working on it. Any prayers are always appreciated though!
Monday, April 19, 2010
The last year and a half (or so)
Lawyers, finding money to pay said lawyers, stupid arguements via texting and over the phone about him having to pay child support and part of Aaron's medical bills EVERY month, court, dealing with sherriff's department, being blamed for him spending a weekend in jail because I didn't remind him of court dates he didn't show up for (which I don't believe is my place anymore), court again... Then the end of February- ahhhhh.... Court was over! Yay! Thought I was done, but I was wrong :( Spent the last 2 months arguing over him paying child support and being late all over again. I'm really seeing a pattern, and I pray I don't have to continue telling him every single month that he has to pay for the next 15 years or so.
Okay, I'm done with my negativity now :) I haven't written in so long because I felt I had all the negative things on my mind, most of which I wasn't supposed to talk about until everything was finalized. I plan on writing soon and more often about happy things going on with my Aaron Lee and I :) Hold me to it!
Okay, I'm done with my negativity now :) I haven't written in so long because I felt I had all the negative things on my mind, most of which I wasn't supposed to talk about until everything was finalized. I plan on writing soon and more often about happy things going on with my Aaron Lee and I :) Hold me to it!
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