Ughhh, looking for a job for over 3 months now STINKS- Just FYI!!! I'm sure part of the reason it's taking so long is because I'm looking for something other than what I've done for the last 4 1/2 years. I was forced to come to terms that I should no longer work in child care. My doctor has advised me of this for 4 years now. I have been stubborn (Who me?).
Sidetrack- Since Aaron was born, I have been completely afraid of sending him off to school/ daycare without me being across the hall from him. I've done so much better with this since he started attending a half day in a Pre-K class that is part of the school district. Seriously, to allow him to do this was HUGE for me! However, I know that he needs to be there to help with his behavior from what they are calling Emotional and Social issues- they think from not having his father around more than 2-3 times a year has greatly effected this. Hopefully, in another year and a half he can be ready for a regular kindergarten class when he's 5.
When I left my job in March I decided now would be a good time to listen to my doctors and start looking for an office position again. I've had some interviews and they all seem to go well and seem promising, but then I'm told they've gone with someone else who has held office jobs more recently. It's very frustrating! I know I can do it! Nothing I have applied for requires degrees or anything that is above what I can do. I'm continuing to pray that someone will give me a chance- soon. Maybe I'm wrong for asking God the 'soon' part. My funds are quickly running out, so I can't help but to ask for a time frame even if I shouldn't tell God what is best. Tomorrow I have the fun task of finding a way to keep my phone turned on, Yippee!
On another note- I should get to see my very sweet, adorable guy this weekend! He's attending his niece's wedding in Arlington. It's been a little over 3 months since seeing him, and I didn't realize how difficult in the beginning it would be to go so long between our dates. It will be a very short trip for him this time, flying in Saturday just in time for the wedding and leaves super early Monday morning. Hopefully, his family won't mind sharing him just a little while on Sunday :)
My crazy boy and Me
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Aaron's latest
Okay, I usually don't brag too much (I don't think) about my little boy. I'm pretty sure every parent thinks their child is smart, and I happen to think Aaron is brilliant. I wish his behavior lately was better, but I'm still proud that he is smart and super funny. He loves to entertain, especially when new people are around. He pretends not to listen A LOT in order to try and get away with things or not do things when I ask. However, he remembers absolutely everything! It has really helped him to learn since he started in a Pre-K class (which he's not actually old enough for, by the way).
Aaron came home telling me earlier this week about how caterpillars turn into butterflies. "Mama, did you know the caterpillars turn into a cocoon chrysalis?" He pronounced it correctly and all!
Today, he told me spiders are arachnids. I mentioned that word to him a few weeks ago, and I also told him that I had arachniphobia, which meant that I was scared of spiders. I asked him if he remembered what word meant that you were scared of something, and he replied, "phobia".
His favorite word to use lately is NERVOUS. Oh my goodness, he tries to use that word for everything now! When he got in trouble the other day he told me it made him very nervous when I got onto him when he was in trouble. He also has said almost every night at bedtime that he was nervous being alone in his room.
It's late, and that's all I can think of at the moment :)
Aaron came home telling me earlier this week about how caterpillars turn into butterflies. "Mama, did you know the caterpillars turn into a cocoon chrysalis?" He pronounced it correctly and all!
Today, he told me spiders are arachnids. I mentioned that word to him a few weeks ago, and I also told him that I had arachniphobia, which meant that I was scared of spiders. I asked him if he remembered what word meant that you were scared of something, and he replied, "phobia".
His favorite word to use lately is NERVOUS. Oh my goodness, he tries to use that word for everything now! When he got in trouble the other day he told me it made him very nervous when I got onto him when he was in trouble. He also has said almost every night at bedtime that he was nervous being alone in his room.
It's late, and that's all I can think of at the moment :)
Little things
I forgot how much I like to do 'little things' for someone I care about. I totally missed that aspect of being in a relationship for... well, a long time now! If we had the typical dating relationship (you know, where we actually lived closer to one another), then these little things I would normally do would be so much easier!! Living states apart, I kinda have to get creative. I can't cook dinner for him, make cookies or something for him to show that I care. The last almost 3 weeks, he's been working every single day extremely long hours trying to finish a huge project. I've felt so bad for him, and I wanted to try and do something for him this week that would be special. Tomorrow was the deadline for his project at work. I was so proud of myself for thinking of something creative I could send to him! I had a couple of pictures we had taken together on our first 'official' date in January. I decided I could make a mini scrapbook filled with things about our first date. I searched online and found a picture of every single place we went in Austin- the airport (from when I picked him up), where we had dinner, the restaurant we had lunch, a store we tracked down that featured one of his commercials to watch (which was Amazing to see first with him), and the fancy shopping center we went to find things to buy :) OH, and of course I added the pictures he and I took together! The scrapbook turned out super cute!! I mailed it Tuesday afternoon, and he should get it tomorrow when he gets home from work, Yay!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Thinking out loud?
Hmm, so I applied at a few more jobs today. I pretty much have stuck with applying to government jobs and at the universities around Denton. I'm determined to get a position that I will LIKE and that has benefits. I don't want to start somewhere and continue looking for something better. It's a waste of the little energy I have and stressful. 2 of the jobs I really want are just taking longer than I would like to get back to me :( Now, I'm starting to wonder if I should give myself a deadline... Should I make a deadline for when I should just find a job, any job and give up on finding THE job? Or is that when I'm overstepping on God's plan?? Ughhh, I don't know. I have enough money for about another month. Factoring in that once I start a job it would be about 2 weeks before getting a paycheck, that means I should start a job within 2 weeks from now. Have any suggestions for me?
On another note, me and "guy who remains nameless (for now)" are doing good. This makes me really happy! However, that just makes me think even more! Did I mention he lives out of state?! His work will keep him where he is living now. Long term plans would require Aaron and I would have to move there. I would totally do that, it's just kinda scary. It's only been about 4 months, so I'm talking a good long while before it's even an issue. But, this is what I do ;) If it weren't a possibility, I wouldn't even bother with this guy. I'm probably being crazy. I haven't had Aaron meet him yet, which is strange I guess considering that his mom has been around Aaron before... I completely trust him with my son. That's not the issue at all. Aaron just gets extremely attached to every guy- most likely since his dad is hardly ever involved. I've even stopped my guy friends from being around him for a while now because Aaron will ask to call them and always wants to see them.
*Aaron told me last week that he wasn't allowing himself to fall in love yet. When I asked why, he said, "I can't fall in love with a beautiful girl yet because I have too many girls (my mama, Aunt Kaylee, and my Nonnie) living in my house. There's just not room for my wife right now."
He's so funny! I love him so much!!! :)
On another note, me and "guy who remains nameless (for now)" are doing good. This makes me really happy! However, that just makes me think even more! Did I mention he lives out of state?! His work will keep him where he is living now. Long term plans would require Aaron and I would have to move there. I would totally do that, it's just kinda scary. It's only been about 4 months, so I'm talking a good long while before it's even an issue. But, this is what I do ;) If it weren't a possibility, I wouldn't even bother with this guy. I'm probably being crazy. I haven't had Aaron meet him yet, which is strange I guess considering that his mom has been around Aaron before... I completely trust him with my son. That's not the issue at all. Aaron just gets extremely attached to every guy- most likely since his dad is hardly ever involved. I've even stopped my guy friends from being around him for a while now because Aaron will ask to call them and always wants to see them.
*Aaron told me last week that he wasn't allowing himself to fall in love yet. When I asked why, he said, "I can't fall in love with a beautiful girl yet because I have too many girls (my mama, Aunt Kaylee, and my Nonnie) living in my house. There's just not room for my wife right now."
He's so funny! I love him so much!!! :)
Thursday, March 24, 2011
This song has special meaning to me ;) Just don't take it literally
Forever can never be long enough for me
To feel like I've had long enough with you
Forget the world now, we won't let them see
But there's one thing left to do
Now that the weight has lifted
Love has surely shifted my way
Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will
Say you will
Together can never be close enough for me
To feel like I am close enough to you
You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you
And you're beautiful
Now that the wait is over
And love has finally showed her my way
Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will
Say you will
Promise me you'll always be
Happy by my side
I promise to sing to you
When all the music dies
And marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will
Say you will
Marry me
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Job opportunities
I just had a phone interview with a company in Dallas that contacted ME and requested that I apply. I thought that was pretty awesome! I had posted my resume online on Monster.com, and I guess the company saw mine there. Interview went great. The position I applied for doesn't start until the end of May, which I didn't know. However, HR said another position would start in just a couple of weeks that they think I would do well in. The pay is the same for both :)
Not sure why it took so long for it to dawn on me to apply at the City of Denton and County, but I applied to positions they each have available around midnight last night. I have already been asked to come do testing for Denton County! I scheduled that for Friday while Aaron is at school. Hopefully I will also hear from the City as well. The City of Denton position pays almost 10k more. Both of these positions would be best I think of all positions I've applied for the last couple of weeks (pay, benefits, and I wouldn't have to drive an hour away= total plus!).
I'm not so much worried about finding ANY job, but finding the Right job!
Any prayers for my job hunt would be so much appreciated!!
-- I was so excited today thinking about 1 of these jobs working out! All I wanted to do was call and tell this guy (who I still haven't named on here). I even picked up the phone to text him a couple times, but I couldn't...
Not sure why it took so long for it to dawn on me to apply at the City of Denton and County, but I applied to positions they each have available around midnight last night. I have already been asked to come do testing for Denton County! I scheduled that for Friday while Aaron is at school. Hopefully I will also hear from the City as well. The City of Denton position pays almost 10k more. Both of these positions would be best I think of all positions I've applied for the last couple of weeks (pay, benefits, and I wouldn't have to drive an hour away= total plus!).
I'm not so much worried about finding ANY job, but finding the Right job!
Any prayers for my job hunt would be so much appreciated!!
-- I was so excited today thinking about 1 of these jobs working out! All I wanted to do was call and tell this guy (who I still haven't named on here). I even picked up the phone to text him a couple times, but I couldn't...
Monday, March 21, 2011
I speak too soon... apparently
It's been a rough few days. Warning, I will probably skip around a lot.
My title refers to one of my last statements in my last blog- about someone special I would mention in my future blogs. Yeah, that was dumb. I think each time I've mentioned something good about someone I'm dating, or just anything good and happy in my life going on it gets ruined somehow. Does this mean I should STOP talking about good things?! That's what it feels like. And, NO, of course I won't! It's just frustrating, and I feel I bring it on myself. Maybe I do? A failed marriage, a failed relationship, and one that I have no idea what's gonna happen now... Could have something to do with ME, ya think?
In late December, a friend of mine from school's wife (24 yrs. old) passed away. Nobody, including the medical examiner, knew why. My friend was told that it would be about 6 weeks before they knew a cause of death. Well, it took a while longer! For him I'm sure it felt like an eternity. This last Friday he was finally contacted and told- Cause of Death: Low Thyroid! That's it? Really?! At first I just felt so sorry for him, knowing that it was something usually so easily treated. If you know me pretty well, you know how much I think, think, and continue to think. About Everything. Friday night, I couldn't sleep well at all. I haven't fallen asleep easily sitince I found this out actually. For selfish reasons I keep thinking about it. My friend's wife looked like she just felt asleep, and that's exactly what doctors told him it happened- "She probably seemed tired, went to lie down, and her body shut down when she fell asleep." My doctors tell me that my thyroid has the lowest levels of a live person they have seen. So, this just totally freaks me out. Which is ridiculous! I know this. My thyroid hasn't worked for almost 16 years. I'm a researcher!! I have read SO many books and articles on hypothyroidism. I know how easily it is to treat when you know about it. I just need to get much better at remembering to take my medicine...
Big event on Saturday that nearly gave the Mommy in me a heart attack- my sister almost ran over my son, Aaron!! Aaron was upset that Kaylee didn't hug him goodbye before she was leaving. From our hallway, I see him running out the front door to catch her, I start running to catch him, and when I get outside her car is in reverse almost knocking him down in the street!! I am screaming his name and for her to STOP! She stops, rolls down the window and asks why I'm screaming. Aaron didn't seem to know what was going on until he realized how scared I was, and that's when he started crying. And, Kaylee just said bye and left like it was no big deal. I've never been so scared in my life! I held him on the couch, crying, kissing him, and getting onto him for going outside without someone- all at the same time. Even at home, I don't know how to protect him all the time :(
A week ago last Friday was the last day at my job. That's a huge, long story in itself. I resigned, however it was definitely not my choice! I'll get more into specifics in another blog though. I only mention it now because it's added to my list of things that have been stressful. Writing and venting make things easier. Single mom+ an ex who's over 6 months behind in child support+ no income= umm, not an ideal situation ?
Last week (my first week of being unemployed) was planned to be a Great week though! Aaron was going to go stay with his dad for a couple of days (the first he's seen him since before Christmas, by the way), so I would have a couple of days to get resumes out, etc. Aaron was out of his afternoon school for Spring break, so it was okay for him to spend some time with Adam without missing anything. Also, last week my guy would be in town the whole week, so we had a few dates planned. I was super excited! He lives out of town, out of state actually. That fact, plus me not really wanting Aaron around him yet doesn't leave much time to spend together. I haven't figured out the whole dating thing without Aaron meeting whoever it is yet. I feel like a horrible mother wanting Aaron to be with someone else just so I can go on a date. Anyway, it had been 2 months since seeing my guy, which has been more difficult that what I thought it would be in the beginning. And, I know what some of you are thinking- No, I didn't meet him online ;) I actually knew him for years, many, many years. His family is in north Texas. Anyway, he came into town. We had a Perfect date last Sunday evening in downtown Fort Worth at one of my favorite restaurants. Previous dates were also quite amazing. We had 2 other dates planned for last week before he would have to leave Sunday. Each one had to be canceled due to things coming up and a family emergency, his, not mine. We were both pretty bummed. I had planned to go stay with him out of state sometime coming up soon, but that was when I had a job and money. Now, that wasn't looking too promising for the near future. So, the different things I mentioned previously that were stressing me out some, along with thinking Saturday night how he was about to fly out and not see him for a couple months possibly... well, it made me act kinda stupidly to say the least. I upset him a lot when I told him how I would miss him, and how I was upset that we didn't get more time together like we had planned. And, I had HORRIBLE timing saying anything. He was at a family function at the time. We've hardly talked since, and it sucks! Over 3 months of talking multiple times a day to not at all. It makes me really sad :( Before anyone starts defending me (which I appreciate), this guy is sooo worth working things out with! He's wonderful, and I really hope I didn't screw things up permanently.
Ahhh, okay. I've written for an hour now, and I feel a little better. That was my whole purpose :)
My title refers to one of my last statements in my last blog- about someone special I would mention in my future blogs. Yeah, that was dumb. I think each time I've mentioned something good about someone I'm dating, or just anything good and happy in my life going on it gets ruined somehow. Does this mean I should STOP talking about good things?! That's what it feels like. And, NO, of course I won't! It's just frustrating, and I feel I bring it on myself. Maybe I do? A failed marriage, a failed relationship, and one that I have no idea what's gonna happen now... Could have something to do with ME, ya think?
In late December, a friend of mine from school's wife (24 yrs. old) passed away. Nobody, including the medical examiner, knew why. My friend was told that it would be about 6 weeks before they knew a cause of death. Well, it took a while longer! For him I'm sure it felt like an eternity. This last Friday he was finally contacted and told- Cause of Death: Low Thyroid! That's it? Really?! At first I just felt so sorry for him, knowing that it was something usually so easily treated. If you know me pretty well, you know how much I think, think, and continue to think. About Everything. Friday night, I couldn't sleep well at all. I haven't fallen asleep easily sitince I found this out actually. For selfish reasons I keep thinking about it. My friend's wife looked like she just felt asleep, and that's exactly what doctors told him it happened- "She probably seemed tired, went to lie down, and her body shut down when she fell asleep." My doctors tell me that my thyroid has the lowest levels of a live person they have seen. So, this just totally freaks me out. Which is ridiculous! I know this. My thyroid hasn't worked for almost 16 years. I'm a researcher!! I have read SO many books and articles on hypothyroidism. I know how easily it is to treat when you know about it. I just need to get much better at remembering to take my medicine...
Big event on Saturday that nearly gave the Mommy in me a heart attack- my sister almost ran over my son, Aaron!! Aaron was upset that Kaylee didn't hug him goodbye before she was leaving. From our hallway, I see him running out the front door to catch her, I start running to catch him, and when I get outside her car is in reverse almost knocking him down in the street!! I am screaming his name and for her to STOP! She stops, rolls down the window and asks why I'm screaming. Aaron didn't seem to know what was going on until he realized how scared I was, and that's when he started crying. And, Kaylee just said bye and left like it was no big deal. I've never been so scared in my life! I held him on the couch, crying, kissing him, and getting onto him for going outside without someone- all at the same time. Even at home, I don't know how to protect him all the time :(
A week ago last Friday was the last day at my job. That's a huge, long story in itself. I resigned, however it was definitely not my choice! I'll get more into specifics in another blog though. I only mention it now because it's added to my list of things that have been stressful. Writing and venting make things easier. Single mom+ an ex who's over 6 months behind in child support+ no income= umm, not an ideal situation ?
Last week (my first week of being unemployed) was planned to be a Great week though! Aaron was going to go stay with his dad for a couple of days (the first he's seen him since before Christmas, by the way), so I would have a couple of days to get resumes out, etc. Aaron was out of his afternoon school for Spring break, so it was okay for him to spend some time with Adam without missing anything. Also, last week my guy would be in town the whole week, so we had a few dates planned. I was super excited! He lives out of town, out of state actually. That fact, plus me not really wanting Aaron around him yet doesn't leave much time to spend together. I haven't figured out the whole dating thing without Aaron meeting whoever it is yet. I feel like a horrible mother wanting Aaron to be with someone else just so I can go on a date. Anyway, it had been 2 months since seeing my guy, which has been more difficult that what I thought it would be in the beginning. And, I know what some of you are thinking- No, I didn't meet him online ;) I actually knew him for years, many, many years. His family is in north Texas. Anyway, he came into town. We had a Perfect date last Sunday evening in downtown Fort Worth at one of my favorite restaurants. Previous dates were also quite amazing. We had 2 other dates planned for last week before he would have to leave Sunday. Each one had to be canceled due to things coming up and a family emergency, his, not mine. We were both pretty bummed. I had planned to go stay with him out of state sometime coming up soon, but that was when I had a job and money. Now, that wasn't looking too promising for the near future. So, the different things I mentioned previously that were stressing me out some, along with thinking Saturday night how he was about to fly out and not see him for a couple months possibly... well, it made me act kinda stupidly to say the least. I upset him a lot when I told him how I would miss him, and how I was upset that we didn't get more time together like we had planned. And, I had HORRIBLE timing saying anything. He was at a family function at the time. We've hardly talked since, and it sucks! Over 3 months of talking multiple times a day to not at all. It makes me really sad :( Before anyone starts defending me (which I appreciate), this guy is sooo worth working things out with! He's wonderful, and I really hope I didn't screw things up permanently.
Ahhh, okay. I've written for an hour now, and I feel a little better. That was my whole purpose :)
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